It wasn't the first time. This has happened for a few times already. For some reasons that you cannot fathom yet, you've been wondering how you've become a part of this cycle.

You’ve been dating a wonderful guy. You have undeniable chemistry. He makes you laugh and is totally supportive. You hang out or go out every weekend and text each other in between seeing each other.

It all seems to be going so well. Until you discuss about making it exclusive; an idea that he is not interested in whatsoever.


It turns out that he isn’t looking for anything serious. He wants to keep it casual and fun. He sincerely likes you a lot, but it isn’t good timing for him right now. He isn’t ready just yet.

He just isn’t in a place to commit.

And for quite some time, you wait. You have been waiting. You keep on hoping that maybe he’ll change his mind since it isn’t personal. It’s only about timing, right? But time changes constantly!

And yet you kept your hopes higher thinking maybe soon he’ll learn something about you that he can’t lose. That maybe one day it’ll all work out; maybe he was just scared.

But he doesn’t change his mind because he was telling you the truth. He’s not scared. He doesn’t want anything serious and timing does not evolve in your favor. And even if the reason for all of this is nothing personal, that doesn’t change the fact that he won’t commit. That doesn’t change what he wants.

And if he won’t commit to you, you need to commit to yourself.

Commit to walking away from him; a person you really like who isn’t able to give you what you need. Commit to letting him go with grace and dignity, saying goodbye with a kiss on the cheek and well wishes as you move onto someone who is willing and able to provide you with the relationship you crave.

Commit to becoming the best version of yourself. Explore your passions with relentless curiosity. Commit to kicking ass at your job. Commit to spending time alone as you get to know yourself better, learning what like about yourself and what you need from other people.

Commit to your friends and family. Commit to spending time with people who value and appreciate you. Commit to your friends who have been there for you through thick and thin. Commit to your family who keeps you grounded and safe.

Commit to yourself. Commit to self-respect and self-care. Commit to self-love. Commit to being gentle with yourself; allowing to make mistakes and learn from them. Commit to picking yourself back up when you fall and commit to only accepting the love you deserve.

Commit to yourself, because you are your own constant. Commit to considering yourself as your own bestfriend. Because when all else fail, you only got yourself alone. It isn't about shutting people out of your life but learning how to become independent of your own happiness be contented about it.

Bounce!

You should date someone you can be too honest with. This is the hardest part, I guess. To find someone you can date whom you can trust all your secrets with and feel comfortable of telling them about all the crazy stories you kept inside. As you have become too fragile because of all your failed relationships from the past, take enough time to find someone whom you can trust in the max level!

You should date someone who listens and tries to understand. Date someone who always tries to understand you without even judging. Someone who can drop everything by the second you ask for their time to vent out your shits to them and help you keep it together. You should date someone who will always get you even when you're messed up already. 

You should date someone who doesn’t expect you to have a spotless life or a spotless past. Date someone who doesn’t make you feel afraid of sharing your worst mistakes. Date someone whom you won't feel ashamed with of saying you don’t know something. Date someone who is not afraid of teaching you and who is willing to learn from you too. You should date someone who will accept you that you are a human being who is susceptible to making mistakes.

In connection with the previous statement, you should date someone who will always forgive you. Someone who will always give you endless chances of giving it another try to work things out with you. Date someone who wouldn't just give you the space for a change but will actually open doors for you to become a better version of yourself. Thus, you should date someone who will inspire you to be successful.

You should date someone who doesn’t care about status. Date someone who is over-impressing people with who they date (and that should be you). Date someone who knows better; someone who gets it and someone who doesn’t think of people as "trophies" (because only scumbags will do that) and date someone who knows that having you by their side is enough. Again, someone who is sure that having you, and you alone, is enough.

You should date someone who always finds you beautiful. Date someone who always reminds you that you can be yourself and you will still be loved. Date someone that even on your worst or weakest days you still mean the world to them. Date someone who still thinks you’re hot even when you’re tired and pale. Or even when you are barely speaking a word. Date someone who finds your quirks endearing. Date someone who finds you sexy even after eating a couple cups of rice or tons of plate on a buffet meal. Date someone who finds you sexy just wearing a lose white shirt and pajamas, and will find you more gorgeous especially when you're all dressed up for a fancy party for the night. You should date someone who will make you feel that you are the only girl that they admire. 

And this is the greatest part of my realization:

You should date someone who can ease your  anxiety. Don’t date the guy who makes your life even harder than it already is. (Cos that is pretty unacceptable!) Date a guy who understands that you’re a gentle soul. Date a guy who is capable of easing your anxiety.

You see, the right guy won't be judging you when your anxiety starts overpowering you. The right guy will not make any lame excuses to leave just because he is feeling uncomfortable with your situation. The right guy is going to sit on the floor with you, to calm you down, and help you steady your breathing. The right guy is going to hold you in his arms until you stop shaking and will even let you use his sleeves to wipe the mess of tears on your face. He will always be there emotionally and physically and spiritually, until you feel better again.

When you find the right guy, a guy who can ease your anxiety, you’ll never feel like a burden again. Unlike your exes, he won’t make fun of you for getting too upset over such “silly little things.” He won’t get pissed off by how often you cry over seemingly nothing. He won’t blame you for ruining a fun night out with his friends. 

Above all, he won’t make you feel like complete shit for having feelings.

He’ll hate your anxiety, yep that is for sure! But he won’t hate it because of all the trouble it causes him. (Only boys who are pretending to be a man will do that because they got no balls to man up for you. Believe me!) He’ll hate your anxiety because of what it does to you. He’ll hate it, because he never wants to look at your beautiful face covered with tears or your beautiful body trembling with fear. He’ll hate it, because he loves you.

Whatever you do, never let yourself believe that your anxiety makes you unlovable. As you know from experience, some men won’t be able to handle it, but those are men you’re better off without. Trust me, there’s a guy out there who won’t give a fuck about your anxiety. No matter how many times you break down in front of him, he’ll never look at you and see some pathetic bitch. All he’ll see is his stunning girlfriend, the love of his life..

Finally, you should date someone who doesn’t make you feel like dating them is a race you need to win. That you have to compete for their attention and love. That you have to work on your resume so they can accept you, that you have to learn more skills so they can approve of you and date someone who thinks you’re overqualified to even participate in these ridiculous non-sense games. Date someone who doesn’t even want to play because the game ended the moment they met you.

My Love, 

I might have not found you yet, but I know that we will cross each other's path soon. In the right time, in the perfect time, I say, I will find you and you will find me. While I take time to fix myself from all the brokenness it has been through, I will be a better version of myself when I see you. My love, whoever you are, I will see you soon.

I usually try to be brave. I try to be hopeful. I try to be optimistic but lately, reality has been challenging me. It’s been raining on my rainbows and casting a shadow over my sunshine.

I’m tired of the guessing games, the questions, the sleepless nights, the analyzing, the messages that don’t mean anything and I’m tired of putting myself out there only to get disappointed.

I’m tired of being told, "They’re not worth it." and  that I deserve better.

I’m tired of falling for the ones who care less, the ones who are not serious, the ones who think I’m only good for a certain amount of time but not forever. And I’m tired of falling for the ones who make me feel like it’s my fault.

I’m tired of my friends telling me to move on because they don’t think it’s right. They don’t think it will go anywhere. I’m tired of hearing that it’s a waste of time; that I should wait for the one who showers me with love and affection.

I’m tired of feeling like I need to stop being myself so I can find love. I’m tired of feeling that no one accepts me for who I am because I’m hard to love. I’m tired of not finding love because I’m being myself.

I always tell people to try; to open up their hearts; to give it another shot; to break their own hearts. But lately, I feel like it shouldn’t be that hard; it shouldn’t be a war and it honestly just stopped making sense to me.

It doesn’t make sense to keep getting heartbroken when all we wanted to do was love. We show our best to someone yet they show us their worst. The more we like someone, the more they ignore us. The moment you’re ready for love, it eludes you. It just doesn’t make sense.

And I just can’t hold on to something that doesn’t make sense anymore. I can’t hold on to something unpredictable, annoying, painful and heartbreaking. I can’t hold on to something that makes me doubt myself. I can’t hold on to something I can’t find.

So maybe the only thing that makes sense is to give up. Maybe this is the only time when giving up would be the smartest decision because quitting something that clearly doesn’t want you is liberating.

I’m giving up on love because it seems like love has given up on me a long time ago.

-R.N.

Obviously, from my lame blog last night, nothing is ever new today. This semester break is just too damn boring but twas all good because I'm able to write something.

What to write now, then?

Thinking...

Buffering...

Ding!

I started wondering, how much have I changed for about 5 years ago? I remember I was like 90 lbs way back 2009 and I gained like almost 50 lbs (exaggerated) after 3 years until I started realizing how ugly I have become and decided to lose weight just about this year because I already got nothing else to wear but to buy a new one (always)! I'm blaming it all on the alcohol, though! That's what made me gained too much unwanted figures from that weighing scale. I guess I wasn't just really into myself that time because my whole world revolved around a stupid person (and I don't want to start giving y'all some details now.)

Two years ago, if I haven't shifted from my former course to my present course, I would've graduated from college already just like my friends who are now starting to settle down with their own families and they got their own houses and shits, too. Some already have kids while some have already traveled a few countries. And here I am, stuck in college; waiting for the last six months of my life in school and grab that degree that I have been waiting for like six or seven years now! This is so frustrating!

With that, I get easily frustrated. I am actually suffering from a mild Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (OCPD) which I just later found out when I took BS Psychology. I usually wanted things to be done as how I pictured it to myself. When I plan things out, I always make sure it will happen the way I wanted it to. When it didn't turn out to be just as how I planned it to be, I'll start feeling so agitated and then there comes frustration.

I am a perfectionist. I always wanted everything to be organized and well-planned and neat and the list of perfectionism could go on. This is why I don't usually join any competitions because I fear failure and rejection. I hate the feeling of losing. It makes me feel like I don't possess enough skills which I can cater to everyone when I actually know that I have them. I remember when I was still active with my band and we joined an amateur competition which was the very first time that I ever competed against another bands (I'm on the vocals) and we won the battle (I feel so proud of my band that time), we were invited to another competition. I was refusing but we competed anyway. It didn;t turn out well for us. After that, I never joined any 'Battle of the Bands' ever again. Haha! Well, our competitors that time were all "punks-not-dead" kind of bands and we were like the "alternative-contemporary" type of a band so we didn't get the chance to show that off to the judges because they're all "hard-nut rockers",  too! Haha! But yeah, that was a good experience. So lately, I only play with my band on weddings, debuts, anniversaries, and such and I find it more fun, actually.

In relation to that, when I failed a few of my subjects from the last semester of the previous academic year, I felt so frustrated and I didn't even want to go back to school anymore. So, I asked my mom to book me a visa to KSA to live with them and work my butt off there.

I wasn't doing fine at school back then because of a break-up. I suffered from mild depression back then and it lasted for 4-5 month. I was skipping classes because I was losing concentration during classes. But, thank be to God, because my professors helped me out. They knew what I have beein going through and they're all aware that I was failing all of my subject that time so they enouraged me to keep on working atleast my thesis. I've been more than half-way to defending our study so they motivated me never to quit just yet because I still got the chance to make it better. And so I did! They're great motivators! I also got my 'Psych-o' squad with me that time. They did everything that they could and been cheering me up on a daily basis til I get through that hell-like phase of my life. So, I've only passed one subject (which was my thesis) and I failed the rest of my them. My friends were all graduates now. I'm hopeful, anyway! I know I'll get there. *winks*

That's what frustration does to me. It always just hits me hard and knocks me deep down! 

I mentioned that I also fear rejection. I hate the feeling of being rejected that's why I don't usually try to insist someone for something when they already said 'No'. Twice is enough. Thrice would make me slap you already! If you're up for it, say 'Yes!' but if you don't, just simply say 'No'.

I don't usually take 'No' as an answer, though. You should always bring with you a reasonable explanation, and if you would want to try to make up some shitty ones, you better come up with a good one. Dare not to make me figure out that you're lying. I'm good at it. I sure am.

But, something did change in me. Yep. Something.

I realized how amazing life can be when you start to do things that you've never done before. I realized how awesome my life could be if I try to break some rules; rules that I have been living with this long!

I learned that I should never regret anything that I've done before; the stupid things that I've done. Because at the end of that road, you'll eventually realize that it happened for good reason. You will never actually learn anything at all if you're too consumed with your fears in life. Life wouldn't be that great for you if you won't dare to take some risks. You will never enjoy what life could bring if you will always be afraid to make mistakes and fail for a few times!

Break some rules! Do things that you usually hate before! Be wild! Be awesome! Be stupid! Be obnoxious! Get wasted! Get high! Be the person that everyone usually hates even just for a day!

Don't ever fear of losing anyone! Your real people will always get you. You'll learn to find out who the real ones are by actually losing some. I've already proven that myself; many left but the best of the best stayed. I don't care if they're few in count. I get them and they get me and that'll be the best part of it. People come and go. If they left you and never returned, that only means that they're just a chapter in your life; their existence in your book is never meant to last.

Try to do things that you find unusual because it's way more fun than you could ever imagine! 

Bounce!

When you got nothing to do and it has been an idle day for ya, unexpected things would just suddenly pop out of your stupid brain which makes you just feel those uncertain mixed emotions that'll swung your mood from naaah to nadah!

You suddenly think about how many persons you've dated which ended tragically. You might not want to remember how stupid you have been with your past relationships but you got no choice cos your brain already activated your memory neurons and all the unwanted emotions were already running through your veins. You suddenly remember how often you tried to fight for other people when all they got to do is leave you hanging on nothing. You even remember how much you cried over a douche bag who didn't even care at all. (I hate this part.)

But just as much as how you wanted to distort these things, thank your amygdala which is trying to help you flight from them and recover from that sudden anxiety. You otherwise reminisce all the good moments you spent with your friends and all the silly things you did when you guys were drunk; all the good shits you had from that good shit you rolled with them; all the little fights you guys laughed about just before you could ever regret arguing with 'em cos you might end up being loner the next day in your class; your all-nighters squads and sudden roadtrips as y'all decided to skip classes the next day (this is getting better and better, huh); the wasted nights you guys had in the club and all your friends were like hookin' up with the other peeps while you just stay at the couch rejecting every fellas who's tryna hook up with you (cos I just can't and that ain't just my thang).

(And since its getting better and better...) You also remember that guy who made you feel like a princess when you were in highschool (I hope I could feel that again). You even smiled when you remembered your first kiss. Lol! And don't you dare forget that embarassing moment with your crush; your first ever romantic date; the extravagant gift you gave and all the efforts you did just to make him feel so special, and also, that first night you spent with a total stranger which turned to be the person you are starting to fall in love with cos you just can't deny that you really do like him though you can't find any reasons why. Just why? (I wonder why?) And I'll pause to that now.

I never believed how a total stranger could ever be that near to your mind. I've never felt that this would turn out this way. You might be wondering what the hell am I talking about. Right? Imagine this: meeting a person which you never intended to invest your feelings with but figured yourself one afternoon, daydreaming with this guy. Oh, how lame could love be! (Love is weird!) I hate romantic movies! (Ain't really just a fan. No hatin please! Haha!) I just find it so predictable though it gives me butterflies, too. I can't deny that! Disclaimer: I am a romantic person! Haha! Yuuuh! I know. Bipolar persons be like? LOL! (Why am I even sharing this?)

I'm just starting to think about what will happen next between us. Like, are we in the good part yet? Would this end up tragically, too? I hope fate could give me a hint already! Just right now as I am writing this, my eyes were starting to smile as I remember how he looks like on that last date we had. All his silly reactions and the way he talks. How he walk, how he wrap his arms around my waist and on my neck, how he laugh and grabs me in his arms. (Oh, fck, I'm stopping now.) I'm already smiling!!!! Come on, now! What am I feeling? Am I inlove with him or I'm just inlove with the feeling? Naaaah! I don't even hella know!

I'm gon look for some books instead, hoping it could lull me to sleep. Lol!

Well. I just can't find anything else to do this semester break so I guess this random blog could just help me do something "productive". Bounce!

I wasn’t sure when and how it happened but as far as I can remember, I am already a night person since I was in high school. Studies say that it is for the reason that staying up all night has become one’s routine, thus, your body clock adapted to this and it became a habit; making you become an all-nighters person. Well, as for me, yes it is true. Ever since I was in high school, what keeps me awake all night is the tons of school works plus the people (you closest pals, your all-time crush, and your bf/gf) that you talk to, the movies on HBO and FOX that you just can’t miss, and a good book that I just can’t drop yet cos the story is getting better and better as I turn the pages. There is no Facebook neither Twitter nor Instagram, and even Snapchat, during that time. All I have is a Friendster account and a Yahoo Messenger back then. So, social media isn’t really the reason that I stay up all night. (Otherwise, social media adds up to why I stay up all night these days.)

Coffee; it’s what most people need to keep themselves awake all night for some important papers to rush for the deadline. It’s their only weapon to get rid of sleeping, resisting the temptation from your fluffy bed and pillow. I love coffee. I don’t know what’s in this hot drink that every time I smell its aroma, I just can’t resist but rush to the nearest coffee shop or ready the coffeemaker and have a date with my cup of coffee. It is also my stress reliever (besides smoking). Studies have proven that coffee does make one stay awake. I ain’t sure what chemical it has or maybe it’s just all in the mind. I don’t know. Thus, my addiction to coffee maybe has something to do why I am always hyped up at night.

When I got to college, more school works filled its place among my schedules. Thus, more time on staying up all night was added up; it’s mandatory anyways. I met more friends; I’m legally an adult since I already turned 18, and exploring what’s around me was my form of adventure back then (that includes clubbing and getting wasted on alcohol, sudden road trips with my all-nighters squad) even kindled my sleepless nights. Plus, I’ve been more addicted to coffee that I can’t let a day pass without even having at least 3 cups of coffee (there should a cup of brewed coffee and the rest could be with either sugar or cream or milk).

So, for almost 9 years now, I’ve been a nocturnal freak. There were times that I’ve been missing the feeling of sleeping at night. The feeling that you have to go to bed because you’re already feeling sleepy and not just because you’re drunk or you’ve been too tired the whole day (cos draining myself during the day is what I usually do to assure that I’d be getting some sleep at night). I ain’t insomniac though. Cos insomniac peeps don’t really get some sleep. Like, they can stay awake for 24 hours without even feeling sleepy at all. In my case, I don’t. I still feel sleepy. It’s just that, I get sleepy during the day cos I’m up the whole night. And I don’t stay up all night cos I’m doing some stuff, whether that’s important or not. Most of the times, I stay up all night simply because I just can’t sleep, and I’ve been used to this form of routine and has become my lifestyle. There were some nights that I’d insist myself to go to bed as I close my eyes and relax, hoping that I’ll be feeling drowsy in a while. But, nadah! Nothing happened. That was terrible! If you just knew what it feels like? You might probably agree with me.

What’s more worse about being nocturnal is the late night thoughts that would just suddenly pop out of your mind cos you keep busying yourself on thinking how you would be able to fall asleep and it’s almost an hour already yet you still kept thinking about it but fails to do so anyway. These thoughts about your past mistakes, your tragic experiences from your exes, those ‘almost lovers’ moments with the person you thought was already the one for you, those times that you still regret until now cos you didn’t do the right thing, those things—these things make my night become even more impossible for me to get some sleep. I start contemplating on these matters. I start thinking about the future. The ‘what ifs’—random feelings of remorse and sudden changes of my moods that’ll make me feel like as if I’m on my PMS phase. And the next thing I knew, it’s already 4AM! Boom! It’s another sleepless night on the record.

So, whoever among my readers out there who has the same experiences as I do; please let me know what’s up with you. If you have found out the answer to this syndrome, let me know immediately. Cos I badly want to know what made you survive from this catastrophe.

And to those who are having so much fun staying sleepless at night, follow me on my social media accounts and let’s talk about it. Yes?

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/AcieHigad
TWITTER: @aciechology
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This is a trending topic on Facebook about the mother and the daughter who mistreated a cashier staff in McDonald's Angeles, Pampanga, PH because the staff "cannot" communicate with them "properly" in English.

I reposted this on my page on Facebook. Some of my friends liked the post while some left a comment about their thoughts on this matter. And one of the comments was this:

"Does education is enough to be called educated? And what does education gotta do with speaking in English?  Why do we always brought up our education when we end up into an argument? I just don't understand why. Not because I didn't go to college but is that already enough to consider myself uneducated? Is there a difference between education, educated, intelligent and knowledgeable? Or are we just egoist that we always come up with a self-defense mechanism that if we let our egos control us, we come up with lame excuses like letting everyone know that you went to college and that makes you educated? Hahaha. Help me out to understand, Gee. I am not sure if my common sense is right.."

This is the exact comment that a friend of mine left on the post that I reposted. It's better not to name that person for confidentiality purposes.

I paused for a while as I read the comment. And when ideas started blurting out from my mind, this is what I wrote as a response to the comment. Here it goes:

*
I've known only a few people who act accordingly with their brains.

Being intelligent wouldn't be defined by education alone. Cos intelligence is innate (that's my point of view according to the researches that I've read) and education only enhaces it. Being knowledgeable is likewise being informative or well-grounded about a certain matter. Those two are defined differently.

Nowadays, we can hardly differentiate educated people from uneducated people. Cos some factors affect it such as attitude (which greatly separates the two).

We can never really distinguish who's educated and who's not. Cos some educated people act like they're uneducated and vice versa. (What's happening to this society?)

Thus, I've notice a few reasons why. And this will surely make a lot of sense. Here they are:

1. Regarding this post, people should stop correlating one's fluency in English to their level of education. Though education is a factor, but not that alone. Cos there are a few peeps out there who are degree holders but can't even properly use "YOUR" and "YOU'RE". (And I sure know a lot of people like this and it is so embarassing for their part like what the hell happened back when they were still in school?)

2. Regarding #1, if you want to be fluent in English, study the language. Reading books help a lot. Being fluent in English isn't even a requirement in our English classes, right? Fluency in that language is actually a skill that can be learned or practiced. Okay?

3. In addition to that, just STOP speaking in English if you know to yourself that you ain't comfy enough to do so. Stop trying so hard only to sound stupid. Check your vocabs. If you ain't comfy but you just can't stop trying to speak in English, then better bring with you a dictionary...always!

4. An educated person should never drag anyone down just because they didn't go to college. Cos educated people, I believe, learnt proper conduct. (They should have!)

5. Fluency in English will never make you become a better person amongst anyone neither would it put you ahead of anybody nor will it ever make you sound cool or elite. Let's just drop that mentality already!

6. Open rebuke is better than hidden love. If you know anyone or if you have been in a situation where you heard someone used the English language improperly, correct them. If you can't get rid of becoming rude cos they ain't just grammar geeks, just atleast let them know why and what made it wrong. Make sure you taught them their lessons; grammar lessons to be exact.

7. The English language has been a useful tool in many different ways especially in this competitive and fast-pacing generation. You might get left behind if you can't barely comprehend a conversation using the language.
***

That is what I posted as a response. But I still have something in my mind now that I want to say:

Education is everyone's right; a privelege to be able to have a degree. BUT, education isn't about becoming intelligent or smart or wise or knowledgeable or whatever shit you want to call it. Education is one of the keys to finding a good job and being able to get along in this competitive world. But most importantly, education is about shaping someone to become a better person despite this world's cruelty. In school, we learn how to become compassionate. We learn how to treat people with kindness despite their status in life (we were taught of that manner since prep-school!) We learn how to respect everyone regardless of their age or gender. We learn how to give back and forgive. We learn how to become a good example for everybody. We learn not only how to find the x, y or z from our Algebra classes nor the history of our country and the different laws and human rights neither the anatomy of the our respiratory system and the fuction of each parts, BUT we also learn how to become a better person of the community.

What I am trying to say is that, if you are bragging your education to everyone, then let these people see what your education brought you: not just the degree that you got but the better person that you should've become as you finish your studies. Right?

Education about LEARNING: being able to learn; knowing how to learn; realizing what you have to learn; applying what you have learned; retaining what you have learnt; and sharing what you have learned to everybody.

As to this "mother-and-daughter McDo issue", their behavior isn't a good sign that they are "educated" cos they created a scandal for some senseless reasons they have toward the staff. Another thing is their attitude on how they disrespect the cashier staff and the manager as well which proved enough that they are one of the many scumbags who brag their education to everyone but doesn't reflect the learning in it. (Who's uneducated now?)

PS.
What pisses me off mostly in this issue is when the mother asked the manager to form two lines in the cashier where one is for the educated people and the other one is for the normal people. NORMAL PEOPLE? Again, I've read it correctly, right? She did say 'Normal people'. How does she define normal? So, in that case, educated people ain't normal? And when a person is normal, they ain't edcuated? Is that what she's tryna say? Hahaha! Explain it to me, please.

(A continuation of Walk The Talk)

"Kabataan ang pagasa ng bayan" is a famous line from our national hero, Dr. Jose Rizal, believing that the next generation would stand up tall and will lead the next coming generation into building up a better nation, and it has to start with themselves but is it really happening?

If I am to ask you guys, do you still believe that we [youths] are the hope of the nation? Seeing all the youths around, with different lives, different personalities, different principles in life--are these folks working on for the nation's sake? I would say, NO. I personally, as a youth, is failing to do good for the nation. Well to reduce the pressure (because it is not about being nationalistic because I am not), what I like to stressed out here is the fact that we [youths] are failing to play our roles in this country. We should help build a good nation, or to start up with, building a good community, but it is very evident that it is the youths who, most of the times, are leading the crime scenes and rumors and issues that are unacceptable in the society. There were killings from one gang to another, premarital sex issues as well as abortion, even incest cases and homosexuality, alcoholism and drugs, illegal businesses, prostitution, rebellion against the government, young thieves and many more. These issues are all about the young ones, the teenagers, the youth. I can almost say that they are one of the top problem of every country. Now can we still say that we are the hope of and for the nation to make it better? Ask yourself.

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. (NIV)
1 Timothy 4:12

That is my devotion for today which gave me the drive to write this blog to wake up the youths out there that we have to be the change we want the world to be. When I've read this verse, the first thing that popped out of my mind is that what is this verse trying to tell me today? I have heard this verse a hundred times because it has been like a motto for us, youths. It is said by Paul to Timothy (who is a youth at that time) as an encouragement to stand up tall in front of the many. Especially, Timothy is about to go around the world to preach the gospel. Paul already foreseen that there will be persecutors around as well as insults that Timothy might encounter because of his youth. He is too young for some and so why it has to be him to lead the community and especially to teach the gospel. That is why Paul uttered these last words for Timothy to pass on the goal to him.

Now going back to what this verse is trying to tell me, it is not just a reminder for me to not let my youth be the hindrance in becoming the light of this world but to stress to me that this verse is about PROVING WHY YOU SHOULDN'T BE LOOKED DOWN BY OTHERS. And the answer is seen also in the verse: but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 

I would like to emphasize that very important phrase in the verse which is 'SET AN EXAMPLE'. We should always expect that there will be oppositions around us, not only from the elders but as well as from our co-youths. So what should we do then? We should prove to them that we are not to be looked down as small as ants easy to stump down. We should prove to them. That is why Paul said we should SET AN EXAMPLE.

This blog is a wake-up call for the Christians out there. How is our life? Do our friends can clearly see in us that we are Christians? Self-check. When I read this verse it is urging me to check myself. Am I doing the job? Am I playing my role correctly? Will I get an A+ due to my performances? Let us altogether check ourselves.

'Set an example for the believers,' Paul said. But let us show it otherwise to the unbelievers. Paul said we should set an example for the believers because it will surely be a big help to encourage them amidst disappointment, to motivate them continue doing good, to strengthen them despite circumstances and keep focused but we should also set an example for the unbelievers to take them out of the dark and be saved. To sum up, we should set an example for everyone. That is the key to prove that they should not really look down on us. That is the key if we want to prove that we are not worthy to be looked down as if we are unable to do anything. That is the only key, to set an example. Once we failed, it is likewise giving them to right to oppose us and prove them that we are weak.

How should we set an example? The verse says, 'in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.' That is how we should set an example. 

One simple illustration is instead of fighting back when someone lied at you or spread gossips about you, simply keep mum. Be meek. Do not fight back through gossiping about that person too or lying as well to that person. Rather be quiet and pray for that someone than exchanging statements with that person because you're angry. Fighting back might just let you keep the anger firing up and might let you speak out foul or inappropriate words. Aside from firing the anger more, you will lose your credibility as a Christian. So set an example in speech.

Another is to set an example in purity. You may have a friend who is committing premarital sex or some who is planning to do abortion or even those who are homosexuals, what you should do is to rebuke them. Correct them thus it will help them be reminded or somehow it might make them stop doing it. Expect that there will be about 90% possibility for them to neglect your rebuke and reminders, but as long as you did your part, it is a big help. Rather pray for them; it works.

To set an example in love. Forgive and forget and start anew--a great illustration of love. Without exemptions, love and show kindness to everyone, not just to those who are loving. Love unconditionally. Show fairness. No favoritism. If it is their right, let them. Do not put chains in their necks and boss around. Let them feel the breeze of life. No abuse! No taking advantage. Love. Love. It is the greatest among all. Love.

Set an example in faith is likewise showing your testimony with the glory of God. Remember we should be the living Bible. Show the world through your lives that GOD IS A GOD, and no one else can be like Him. Show them you have a God. Show them that you can do all things even if it is so hard because you have Christ who will give you strength. Teach them how to pray amidst impossibility, because 'Prayers can move mountains.' Show them that you are able to change even it is very impossible because you have faith and you trust God.

Make sense? Share it. It is as simple as that. Set an example. Wake up! Start proving it today.

REMEMBER: Action speaks louder than words.