When you got nothing to do and it has been an idle day for ya, unexpected things would just suddenly pop out of your stupid brain which makes you just feel those uncertain mixed emotions that'll swung your mood from naaah to nadah!

You suddenly think about how many persons you've dated which ended tragically. You might not want to remember how stupid you have been with your past relationships but you got no choice cos your brain already activated your memory neurons and all the unwanted emotions were already running through your veins. You suddenly remember how often you tried to fight for other people when all they got to do is leave you hanging on nothing. You even remember how much you cried over a douche bag who didn't even care at all. (I hate this part.)

But just as much as how you wanted to distort these things, thank your amygdala which is trying to help you flight from them and recover from that sudden anxiety. You otherwise reminisce all the good moments you spent with your friends and all the silly things you did when you guys were drunk; all the good shits you had from that good shit you rolled with them; all the little fights you guys laughed about just before you could ever regret arguing with 'em cos you might end up being loner the next day in your class; your all-nighters squads and sudden roadtrips as y'all decided to skip classes the next day (this is getting better and better, huh); the wasted nights you guys had in the club and all your friends were like hookin' up with the other peeps while you just stay at the couch rejecting every fellas who's tryna hook up with you (cos I just can't and that ain't just my thang).

(And since its getting better and better...) You also remember that guy who made you feel like a princess when you were in highschool (I hope I could feel that again). You even smiled when you remembered your first kiss. Lol! And don't you dare forget that embarassing moment with your crush; your first ever romantic date; the extravagant gift you gave and all the efforts you did just to make him feel so special, and also, that first night you spent with a total stranger which turned to be the person you are starting to fall in love with cos you just can't deny that you really do like him though you can't find any reasons why. Just why? (I wonder why?) And I'll pause to that now.

I never believed how a total stranger could ever be that near to your mind. I've never felt that this would turn out this way. You might be wondering what the hell am I talking about. Right? Imagine this: meeting a person which you never intended to invest your feelings with but figured yourself one afternoon, daydreaming with this guy. Oh, how lame could love be! (Love is weird!) I hate romantic movies! (Ain't really just a fan. No hatin please! Haha!) I just find it so predictable though it gives me butterflies, too. I can't deny that! Disclaimer: I am a romantic person! Haha! Yuuuh! I know. Bipolar persons be like? LOL! (Why am I even sharing this?)

I'm just starting to think about what will happen next between us. Like, are we in the good part yet? Would this end up tragically, too? I hope fate could give me a hint already! Just right now as I am writing this, my eyes were starting to smile as I remember how he looks like on that last date we had. All his silly reactions and the way he talks. How he walk, how he wrap his arms around my waist and on my neck, how he laugh and grabs me in his arms. (Oh, fck, I'm stopping now.) I'm already smiling!!!! Come on, now! What am I feeling? Am I inlove with him or I'm just inlove with the feeling? Naaaah! I don't even hella know!

I'm gon look for some books instead, hoping it could lull me to sleep. Lol!

Well. I just can't find anything else to do this semester break so I guess this random blog could just help me do something "productive". Bounce!