Welcome to the world of "Modern Dating".

In our generation, we couldn't just simply advice someone, “Why don’t you just go date him/her?”

Why? Well, here's the thing:

#1 SCENARIO:

We always have to wait and play it cool. Funny, right? But that is happening to everyone today, mind y'all!

So, if you're salty about the fact that he opened your story but didn’t answer and then he went on and liked your latest Instagram post, or he ignored your message then tagged you on something, you still have to play it cool. Just because, that is how the game should be.

You can’t look at a snap story too quickly because it’ll reveal you care.

You can’t be the first one to like something on Instagram or on Facebook, because you'll come out stalking. 

Tagging each other in memes and sending pictures is a whole new level that everyone hopes to get to. 

And, oh! Don’t even get me started on dating apps. Swipe right or left (or up if you're in premium! HAHA!) 

It’s the three-day rule of waiting days to answer even though you’ve wanted to hear from them all week!

If I'm going to share this to my Mom or to my aunts, their heads might spin in shock about how weird dating today has become. 

#2 SCENARIO:

"Are you guys dating? Is he your boyfriend?”

  ~ Mom (or anyone applicable, may it be your bestfriend or your sister or whoever it might be) 

If I would have to explain this, here's how it is going to be:

There’s a whole initial phase of what we call, "Social Media Modern Phase" that we have to overcome first. It's the (a) adding/following, (b) liking of pictures and/or posts, (c) tagging, (d) commenting, (e) stalking, (f) just fill this space in because I don't know what else could there be.

But guess what?

The next accomplished milestone about that person is, “We’re just talking.”

Then my Mom will ask, "Well, what's talking?"

Me: Mom, it's a lame excuse for people who fear commitment and don't know if they want you yet. Kind of like test-driving a car. And during that phase, you can't tell anyone anything because you aren't dating just yet. 

It can't be labeled as "We're dating" because it's kind of like a phase called "flirting" (just yet) where you got to wait and see how it goes before there could be a level up to the "actual dating phase". 

Everyone’s waiting for the other person to make a move but the person who does that suddenly loses power. Because you'll come out as "too clingy."

So, we seem to be "more connected" than ever because of these social media platforms but are actually [more disconnected emotionally] because society has taught us that caring isn’t cool.

Hence, let the flirting commence first. 

We’ve all been conditioned to care less about someone or be turned off by the person who shows they give too much of a damn. 

Our minds were suddenly rooted to be more interested to the other person who is keeping us guessing.

We claim we want relationships or want to see someone yet the second we get a message, we have to give it an hour before we respond so we won't come out as "too interested". 

We claim we want a relationship or want to see someone but because they have this one picture that ain't too attractive or some certain posts ain't too witty, we will never continue talking to them anymore without even actually meeting them in person and date like humans so you could know that person a lot better. 

We claim we want relationships and want to see someone but we cancel the day of meeting them for reasons we don’t even know (or maybe because we've found someone better who just posted their latest picture that we find more appealing.)

We claim we want relationships and want to see someone but everyone is acting like being single is the coolest thing to be while I know that most people feel a sense of loneliness. We are lacking this important factor of connection that everyone needs in their lives, which is an emotional connection with someone we’d like to date.

An actual date is where we sit down and engage in a conversation. Getting to know each other in the moment is where it should start. And we shouldn’t even think about where the night is going to end and if we’ll wake up together.

No one wants to put labels on things because everyone wants their options open.

Almost everyone only wants sex but doesn’t care about love.

Almost everyone only wants status but doesn't care about one's character. 

Almost everyone wants to date but is afraid to do something about it.

Almost everyone wants to rush to bed with some stranger rather than to get to know them.

Almost everyone says they hate being single but they’d rather spend a Friday night alone watching Netflix and scrolling than try stepping out of their front doors. 

Almost everyone wants to settle in just flirting--controlling their emotions to never feel too much or else you'll lose the game. Like as if their feelings is just a cheap thing to risk in these silly games. 

When you got attached too fast, you're that person who is "too easy" and not a “dating material.” It's as if feeling has become a bad thing.

We’re all looking for every reason for something not to work.

We are conditioned to never be satisfied and constantly be looking for the next best thing. It’s the paradox of choice when we have too many options, we are completely frozen and don’t do anything at all.

I’m sorry but that doesn’t work for me.

Why?

Because I myself have been exposed to these kinds of terms. I played these kinds of mind games, too. And it brought me nothing but disgust and exhaustion.

I realized that dating today isn’t what dating should be. Call me old fashion because I believe dating should be more than just this. 

Everyone cares about where things are going to end and yet everyone wonders why things end so abruptly without an ending at all.

Ghosting. Unfriending. Unfollow. No longer liking kind of stuff. No longer looking at stories. This is how relationships end today and personally, I think it’s a bunch of a crap.

Dating today is exhausting and that’s even before you get to an actual date or a relationship. And I refuse to play the game no more.

If I like you, I’ll message you.

I’ll like whatever I feel I like on social media and not think twice about it.

I’ll send snaps or memes when I think of you.

I’ll look at your story first every time because I care about what you’re doing and I probably wish I could be there.

And I won’t have a problem to be the one initiating plans.

If I like you, I’m going to want to see you.

If I like you, I’m not going to play you or mess with how you feel just because society tells me I’m not supposed to care that much.

If we hate the way dating is today, then don’t complain about it if we’re abiding by the rules. Just stop playing.

Holla!