Psalm 66

For the director of music. A song. A psalm.

1 Shout with joy to God, all the earth!

2 Sing the glory of his name;
make his praise glorious!

3 Say to God, "How awesome are your deeds!
So great is your power
that your enemies cringe before you.

4 All the earth bows down to you;
they sing praise to you,
they sing praise to your name."
Selah

5 Come and see what God has done,
how awesome his works in man's behalf!

6 He turned the sea into dry land,
they passed through the waters on foot—
come, let us rejoice in him.

7 He rules forever by his power,
his eyes watch the nations—
let not the rebellious rise up against him.
Selah

8 Praise our God, O peoples,
let the sound of his praise be heard;

9 he has preserved our lives
and kept our feet from slipping.

10 For you, O God, tested us;
you refined us like silver.

11 You brought us into prison
and laid burdens on our backs.

12 You let men ride over our heads;
we went through fire and water,
but you brought us to a place of abundance.

13 I will come to your temple with burnt offerings
and fulfill my vows to you-

14 vows my lips promised and my mouth spoke
when I was in trouble.

15 I will sacrifice fat animals to you
and an offering of rams;
I will offer bulls and goats.
Selah

16 Come and listen, all you who fear God;
let me tell you what he has done for me.

17 I cried out to him with my mouth;
his praise was on my tongue.

18 If I had cherished sin in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened;

19 but God has surely listened
and heard my voice in prayer.

20 Praise be to God,
who has not rejected my prayer
or withheld his love from me! This is my devotion for today. Actually, I had 3 chapters for my devotion but I only wanted to share one of the verses in this chapter from the Book of Psalms which made me reminisce all that God has done in my life. It made me cry; out of joy--realizing that He loved me for who I am and will always do no matter what. Knowing how I lived in sin and how I disobeyed Him and turned my back from him just to fit in into the dwellings of this fleshly pleasures, He stood still beside me and never gave on me. He waited until I turn back my face on Him and immediately forgives me as I knelt down to Him for another chance to make it up for my life. Indeed, no one can ever love me like how God did. No one can ever love us like how God did.

Now this is the passage from the Book of Psalms chapter 66 which captured my heart:

16 Come and listen, all you who fear God;let me tell you what he has done for me. 

17 I cried out to him with my mouth;his praise was on my tongue. 

18 If I had cherished sin in my heart,the Lord would not have listened; 

19 but God has surely listenedand heard my voice in prayer. 

20 Praise be to God,who has not rejected my prayeror withheld his love from me!

Let me first explain to you this passage that I love based from what I have learned when I was in Life Evangelistic Bible School (LEBI).

In this passage, in verse 16, David (He was the second king of Israel and was the author of this book, Psalms. He is also called "the man after God's own heart" for his heart of worship), invited everyone to listen to his testimony. If you can notice, he was filled with a blessed heart and it was overwhelming for him that he can't even contain that feeling and so he wanted to burst it out by testifying how God moved in his life and how blessed he was.

In verses 17-19, David said that he cried out to God and praises was in his tongue. Now from that verse 17, saying that he cried out to God, illustrated how he knelt to God in prayer confessing all his wrong deeds, asking for God's mercy and forgiveness. Until praises started coming out of his mouth which shows that after the confession he felt how God moved and heard his prayer. David was comforted which likewise was written in verse 19; that God surely heard his voice from his prayers.

And in verse 18, David explained that when he cherished sin in his heart, the Lord would have not listened. Why did he said that then? Because having sinned and keeping it in our hearts blocks our way to God. It puts walls between our connection with God. Thus, he stressed that "if", in verse 18, he didn't let that sin be kept in his heart for it might pull him away from God.

Going back to the verse 19, stressing the word "but", that even though he have sinned and knew that it can separate him from God, still our good Lord listened to his prayer. And in the last verse, the 20th, he uttered praises to God because his prayers were heard and it was not rejected nor did God's love was withheld from him but it was felt even more in this blessing that he have received.

I am really inspired by God's love through this psalmist, King David. His poetry dwelt deep into my heart which creates me a stronger connection with God.

In relation to this passage, I remember how God have forgiven me and how He loved me despite all my shortcomings. I don't want to detail everything because it will take me a while to share the exact scenarios, but, I am way beyond blessed to have been given another chance to right my wrongs.

I was once living in sin. I've already expected these trials in my life as a part of my battle here on Earth. Though I already know that I will be drowned deeply when I dwell into this scheme, I still let it happen anyway. From a man's perception and by human nature itself, it really feels good that sin always offers everything your flesh desires and it seems impossible for a man to resist what it offers. The wrong felt so right, as the saying goes.

I lived in lust. But because I have been freed and have confessed it to God, I now have the strength to share this to everyone.

I [was] a homosexual. "Femme" as we often categorized ourselves (because we aren't crossed-dressers). It would be narrated longer if I would tell you guys how it all happened. But as this blog was concerned, I am going to tell to you how I had the strength to fight back and finally got myself out from that life-breaking prison even though it seems too impossible. Yes, I admit that I loved how it feels. I had a girlfriend; and it feels so right though it's so wrong. I loved her with all my life that I even wanted to spend my whole life with her and have our own family together. We were intensely in love; ignited with romance and guilt. We were both servants of God in the church. It was likewise turning our backs from God. We've been together for almost six months; deeply in love but in great danger as well. We are admittedly guilty of our deeds.

And that's when I've realized how God loved me though I have already turned my life away from Him. He stood at my back trying to do everything just for me to come back to Him. There's this loud whisper which sometimes keeps me awake at night.

I even got mad at God. I kept blaming Him why did He allowed this feeling to dwell in me when it was not of His will. I kept putting all the blame to Him of why this feeling was ever invented when in it will never be normal in anyone's sight, especially in His sight. I even prayed eagerly that God would instead permit me to spend my life with my girlfriend; despite the fact that He will never allow that to happen. Life is too ironic.

One day, after my class, I came to visit my old school which is just a couple of blocks away from our church: the Bible school. I haven't actually planned to go there. But that was the time of my turning point in life. I was then at that time talking to the school secretary (who have been close to me when I was studying there). We were having a usual chat until a pastor, whom I've known also since I was studying in that Bible school, came near to us and welcomed me with a smile. With this discernment that I possess, I've foreseen that he will ask me of my present situation. And there I told him that I wasn't really feeling good but I am finding my way out. Until he asked me for some time to talk whenever I'm free. I agreed.

Sunday, after the Youth Service in the church, is when the time that I told the pastor for us to talk. I was feeling so uneasy due to the circumstances that I'm in. That conversation with the pastor gave me the chance to unload everything. He helped me realized everything that I have done. My heart was touched. I am pampered. All the heavy burdens were taken out of me. I feel relieved. I know God used this person to help me out cos I've been seeking His help for I am already feeling hopeless. And God never forsook me.

I felt that the knot which has been choking me was being untied eventually. I decided to reroute my track before it'd ever be lost from the right path. During those times, I remembered how God called me and saved me from all my sins. I remembered the sufferings that he had on the Cross. Finally, this is the time.

Since then, I felt recharged. Like I'm ready for another battle again. I'm sure that I got the strength to fight back along the way. I'm sure that I am very eager to do it right this time.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. I felt how the heavens poured out the blessings of abundance in my family. This, I must say, is the perfect illustration of how unconditional God's love is. He will never leave you and forsake you despite the many time you tried to push Him away in your life.

This pastor also helped my girlfriend like how he helped me out. We are now very good friends. We actually never expected that we will be this fine despite what happened between us. We are victors! We have been freed from the prison of sin; we have overcome! We will always aim for this one goal: to serve him faithfully and wait for His return patiently.

This is how God moved in my life. This verse is a remembrance of how difficult that phase was but God helped me out as I seek of His help. God never left me along the way. Thank you, Lord, for Your goodness and mercy. TO YOU BE ALL THE PRAISES AND HONOR!